the day ravages what the night spares

huzzah!

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 07:15:32 GMT

I just found out I DID win all three rounds. : D

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 04:23:02 GMT

Well, a nice summary of my week and the funnies I beat out of life.

On Saturday, my dad comes home from Vietnam after saying otherwise.

His hair is blowing heroically in the wind, he turns away dramatically and hands us a packet titled "My Will" and says, "I'm going to Vietnam... forever!"

On Sunday, the first thing he does is drive to the Vietnamese mall and buys $85 dollars in Vietnamese sausage (and some awesome spiced beef jerky)... to send to his sister in Vietnam? Yeah, I didn't quite understand that either.

On Monday, nothing much happens.

On Tuesday, I fed some of this awesome spiced beef jerky to my friend, who promptly got a migraine and went home. T'was a lonely sixth period.

On Wednesday, my sick friend comes bounding in and says, "It was your beef jerky that gave me the headache! I looked it up and one of the symptoms of an excess of MSG!" Apparently, his mother had been trying to feed him a low-MSG diet. A bad thing... or lack thereof? He ate about two pieces. I ate like... 3/4 of it. And nothing happened to me. So, there guys. Think smallpox in the early Americas. No immunity = knocked dead at the first sign.

On Thursday, I was walking with some of my friends to PE and a guy behind us taps on Michael's shoulder and goes, "Hey ladies!" Michael turns around. "Oshi-" Oh, the follies of long hair and looking like a woman from behind! We had a good laugh at the guy's expense.

On Friday, I wallowed in depression and tried to prepare for today's debate tournament.

Today, I realized how much I was accustomed to the city. The school that we competed at is in the hills. There are absolutely no street lights up there, so it was dark as hell, and I'm running mazes up there looking for the right streets. My mom was like, "WTFUX. WHY IS A SCHOOL ALL THE WAY UP HERE?" On another note, I know for sure I won my second round. First, I'm sure I lost. Third is sort of split. The kids at Saratoga (school the competition is at) told me there were only three African American and three Latin American kids out of 1,000 students. I was like... "Wut! Our school is like, 90% black and Mexican!" Talk about culture shock.

Someone came up to me after hearing me talk about our schools and asked me if I was from Milpitas High.

"Uh, yeah. I am."

"Is it ghetto like I hear?"

"... er... yes."

Our reputation, as I have learned, is trash. Peace, guys.

well, that just defeats the purpose.

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 02:26:28 GMT

Today, I had Thanksgiving dinner... on Thanksgiving eve.

Why? "Because then we won't have to eat on Thanksgiving," says my mom.

your ink is dangerously low!

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 01:57:25 GMT

My capacity to care right now is zero. You can throw a dramatic tantrum, but I'm going to go ahead and sit this one out. Please figure it out on your own.

it's halloween! call me cynical.

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 07:34:42 GMT

It's around this time of year that I created my first LiveJournal in 2007. Huzzah for three years of nonsense! So I went through a period of FRIENDS-ONLY posts, which I am unlocking now. Anything past May 2008 is stupid, so... feel free, I guess.

EDIT: It is done! Two years worth of journal entries unlocked!

Anyways...

I wouldn't say that I deal with depressed people on a daily basis, but I know my way around them well enough. What to say, what not to say... and I have to say that there is nothing that I can say that will make a difference. There's nothing that isn't cliche or is complete bullshit. Who am I trying to fool, when I can't even believe it myself?

"You should live for your loved ones, they love you and you love them and they don't want you to die."

"You should never give up fighting, because life is precious and awesome and great."

"God will send you to Hell if you kill yourself."

"Life is worth living!"

Heck, I could find an argument against all of those reasons. Because let's just face it: life sucks. We live, we do things, then we die. And some do greater things than others and get to be remembered. Some fail at life and end up six feet under with nothing to mark their grave but a scrap of cardboard. It's just how life works.

In the end? It's my obligation to persuade them to stop, but I say, "If you can't enjoy the ride, just get off." It's pointless to keep people around who want to leave. Who is really the selfish one here? Them for wanting to end whatever they suffer from, or me? Me, who wants them to stay because I'd be sad with them gone?

No, I don't want you to kill yourself. I would be extremely sad. But I would be more sad if you were suffering.

oh my god, what am I doing?

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 06:26:51 GMT

I've noticed of late that I've been reduce to whining about girls at school. I thought to myself, "Wait! Isn't that what normal girls do? Good lord! I'm losing it!"

So to make sure, I flipped back to my first entries... lo and behold! I ranted about politics and culture and world events then. Now what do I complain about?! Next thing I know, I'm going to support torture, Prop 8, and curbstomp babies. You would think that as one matures, one would prefer philosophy over school woes... but maybe I'm growing in reverse.

It's not that I'm no longer interested in philosophy or politics or religion, it's that the drone of daily life takes the front seat in my mind. Hence, a series of very emotionally charged journal entries that were extremely childish and crudely written.

Nothing of great importance to speak on now, but I'll find something. D:

'You are ambushed by a Drama Queen!'

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 01:30:33 GMT

I have a hilarious story to tell.

Okay, maybe it's not that funny. I have a... questionable sense of humor.

So this morning before school started, I finished up at the lockers and started walking away when I accidentally brush the corner of a girl's purse as she is ~~obstructing the path~~ standing by the lockers with her friends. So as I'm walking away with a friend, she bitches, "Watch where you're walking."

And so I respond to that by saying very loudly over my shoulder, "Watch where you're standing." I expect to never see the harpy again, but alas: I am always wrong.

She rushes up behind me, "Do you have a problem with me?" With her hands on her hips and everything.
"No, but it looks like you have a problem with me." I keep on walking.
"Walking away from me?" I keep on walking.
"Maybe because you're running after me?" I keep on walking.
"Fuck you, bitch." I keep on walking.

And somewhere along that conversation, my thoughts lapse into...

'You are ambushed by a Drama Queen!'

'The Drama Queen is characterized by her annoyingly high-pitched voice, her five to ten pounds of make-up, and tendency to get into arguments she cannot possibly win.'

I will, from now on, make it a point to shove her as hard as I possibly can when I walk by.

Anyways, as far as remodeling the house, I am having a great time moving all of my stuff out. A jolly good time.

put that down, girl.

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 14:07:04 GMT

I feel sort of bad for a girl whose friends have convinced her she has abs and now she walks around in PE with her shirt "discreetly" pulled up to her chest. This would be great if she had abs.

She does not.

She has a paunch.

twitter woes.

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 05:07:46 GMT

It's the same bird. Everyday for two weeks at 4 AM. Someone shoot me.

a high school love story. sort of. wait, what?

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 06:11:40 GMT

I know everyone complains about high school (hell, I do it all the time), but there's a good reason for that. Here is a rough illustration of what happens to males with a weak resolution:

I've known said specimen since I was in diapers, and his progression is like so:

Active child evolves into Skater!
Skater evolves into Bloody Emotional Mess!

Bloody Emotional Mess evolves into Emotional Bandwagon-influenced Bisexual Mess!

Ah, yes. The power and influence of high school, alive and well as ever. To clarify, I have no qualms with bisexual/homosexual people. I would say that I support them (even if the politically correct answer is "It's human rights, not a matter of morals or virtues!") even, it's that I'm irritated with kids who thought homosexuality was GROSSEWWHEREWOULDYOUPUTTHAT, and now that homosexuality is WOAHCOOLAWESOMEEVERYONEISONE, they suddenly change their minds. And it'd be different if they were truly bisexual, and not just fronting to fit in. Now if only academic success was cool, huh?

Point in case: stop being sheeple, guys.

Other than that, I find high school to be refreshingly free of the stereotypical hierarchy (jerks, nerds, preps, etc, etc). And no, I am not a freshman. I'm a lazy sophomore who should've post this rant last year!

prisoners of our own device.

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 06:21:19 GMT

If I told you I was caged, would you set me free?
Let me free myself?

Would you cry for my image?
Live in my stead?
Laugh in my memory?

Would you remember my words?
Remember my essence?
Recall my name?

Yeah, I didn't think so either.

selective... bleeding?

Sat, 19 Sep 2009 07:15:33 GMT

My gums like to bleed profusely when I brush my teeth, but not when I'm chomping on ice.

GG.

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 03:26:14 GMT

I was goaded into joining two other clubs I didn't want. Oh, the power of peer pressure! [Insert fist shaking here.]

all the things...

Mon, 07 Sep 2009 06:42:46 GMT

I should've done and I could've done, I didn't. I have no one to blame but myself.

The Hangman by Maurice Odgen:

               "... I did no more than you let me do.

               Beneath the beam that blocked the sky
               none before stood so alone as I."

Sorry I didn't help you. Now it's a bit too late for that.

bear arms?

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 03:48:03 GMT

My father is moving to Vietnam permanently, supposedly to start a new business. But we both know it's for something else, just unspoken. Well, for whatever reason it is, I wish him a happy and fulfilling life. I feel nostalgic, soooo...

I resented him at first. He was my father, after all: supposed to take care of us, split the weight of parenthood. I realize now that most of it just was my mother feeding me half-truths, demonizing him. She did it to ease the pain, I say (well, the part of me that still scrutinizes the people around me). Maybe blaming him justified his departure.

Then I started to resent my mother. Selfishly blaming everything on the two of us. She spent a night in prison because of us. She went to court because of us. She couldn't get a boyfriend or move on with her life because of us. And the ultimate slap to the face: "Your father left because he couldn't stand you guys anymore."

And now I just don't care anymore; who was right? Who was wrong? Is "strength" in a woman the ability to cut our front lawn grass? Because that's how my mother defines it. She said she's moved on, but there hasn't been a day in seven years that she hasn't mentioned his name. So I am determined to forget it all, you can't mourn what you've lost if you've never known it. (Or I guess in this case, don't know anymore.) Some may call me ignorant, and I think at some point in time, I'll agree with them. For now, I'd like to live in the moment. It's better then clinging to some old memories, they feel more like thorns in my side. I'd like to just accept the situation at hand and move on. I don't know if what I've decided to do is right or wrong.

But I do know that doing nothing at all is wrong.

shutuppl0x.

Fri, 28 Aug 2009 00:13:47 GMT

I don't care about your classes and how your teachers are all hot. I really don't. Why are we talking to begin with? We both know you hate me with a passion.

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 04:40:00 GMT

Someone commented on YouTube and said:

"First I thought 'shattered' means 'coloured' (filtered, dark red, stripbar-like) so I had the PERFECT idea, but then I found out that 'shattered' 'broken' means. D:"

Someone shoot me now.

fanimecon 2009 pictures

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 04:39:48 GMT

I'm a terrible photographer. That explains why all my pictures are blurry. :< Anyways, commentary where commentary is needed (under the corresponding picture)... enjoy. And respect all the cosplayers who let me take pictures of them.

Started my Friday out in the gamer's hall... Brawl, arcade games, tabletop games. Got my ass owned in Brawl, Guitar Hero, and DDR... so I left. We came pretty early so nothing was open yet... so I dragged myself back to be owned more.

The Brawl tournament tables... you have to rhinosaurus (no, this is not a real animal) your way through the crowd if you want to see anything. I wasn't playing in the tournaments, by the way. It's like a... $40 entry fee or something. And I fail, so no thanks. There was some Magic, Yu-Gi-Oh, and D&D happening to the right too.

Stage Zero opened and some people were dancing to Hare Hare Yukai... moving on.

Weighted Companion Cube is win. Skateboards weren't allowed there... I wonder if it was taken away.

Lagann and Simon from Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann. They were also win.

Zero from Code Geass. :D His helmet was amazing. Taken in the artist's alley, hence for the booth behind him.

Scored me a Suzaku (Code Geass) in the dealer's hall too. :D

Temari from Naruto.

Sougo Okita from Gintama and his bazooka. :D

Noki/Loki from DOGS. :D DOGS cosplays are rare... I'm pretty sure this was the only other one I saw... there was a Badou there. :D No Haine, though.

The only Byakuran at Fanime. >: (From Kateyo Hitman Reborn.)

A TYL!Lambo. :D And a Chrome. The KHR people were gathering here all four days.

Pokemon! :D Minun and Plusle.

Chun Li from Street Fighters. >:U

Who would've thought? xD A Daft Punk cosplay.

I almost had an asthma attack when I saw him. That's why the picture's so blurry. :D V from V for Vendetta!

Trinity Blood cosplayers. :D Their costumes look painful to make. D:

Pyramid Head from Silent Hill. 8D He had two friends with him, and I'm guessing he's pretty popular, because when I asked, his friends were like, "Wow, we never get anywhere with this guy!"

Nine Tails and Raccoon Thing hold a fight in the middle of the convention. :D

She gave me lulz. Animal Crossing win.

A picture from the unofficial Gintama cosplay photoshoot. :D It speaks for itself.

Peter versus the Chicken fight. A classic. :D

The Hare Hare Yukai. :D

The pictures here are about a third of what I actually took. <_< I promise to be on LJ more. >:

fanimefanimefanime

Fri, 22 May 2009 13:32:59 GMT

Yay, Fanime is today. :D But my camera is broken, so no pictures. I'm going to see if I can borrow my sister's when she's not looking.

Mon, 18 May 2009 03:35:04 GMT

I never learn my lesson. : ( Sadface.

Tue, 12 May 2009 05:05:59 GMT

Sometimes change isn't always for the best.

interpret this any way you'd like

Fri, 08 May 2009 06:06:58 GMT

You're the most ungrateful person I've ever had the displeasure to meet. Don't ever touch my laptop ever again, or I cannot guarantee your absolute safety.

speak in tongues

Fri, 01 May 2009 23:23:29 GMT

People who beat around the bush confuse me profusely.

Also, perhaps I've been wrong about some people. They're not half bad once you get to really know them. Or you know, get on their friendly side. Maybe they are still an asshole? :V

Mon, 13 Apr 2009 05:44:04 GMT

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Fuck, I'm sorry. Do whatever, just come back. I'm sorry I'm such a terrible friend and I didn't do anything when I saw what you were going through quite clearly. I ignored and and thought it'd get better. But it doesn't. Nothing ever gets better. I should've known, and I'm sorry.

Tue, 10 Mar 2009 03:50:09 GMT

I want to be strong for the people who need me.